The Sound of Your Voice | Article - In the Opinion of Others

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In the Opinion of Others
By Dr. Carol Fleming

Speech is the most powerful barrier to social mobility. Period. Consider what you can know about someone the minute they speak: sex, age, size social history, economic status, intelligence, education, healthy, attitude or emotion, and foreign or regional background. Did I miss any thing? We are highly attuned and skilled in reading other people and we use our ears and well as our eyes.

So how can we use other people's knowledge to help in our improvement goals? You might want to consider some of the feedback you have gotten in the past to help you understand the impression you make by the say you talk. Consider the following statements:

My secretary is always telling me that I mumble
People always say they can hear me at the other end of the hall
I am often asked to repeat what I said
Most people think I am a lot younger than I am when I answer the phone
That's not the first time that I heard that I can be counted on for the smart remark
I can't tell you how many times people think I'm being sarcastic
I know you don't mean to, but sometimes you come across very strong and demanding

Comments such as these need to be considered carefully. If you know the speakers as relatively normal, well meaning people then you would want to use the information to guide your efforts. If you hear the same sort of comment by several people, it probably has some validity. Take it as a kindness that you're being given useable information. They could just not tell you and avoid you.

Do be cautious about the opinions of people that don't seem to be shared by many others. Let me tell you about Larry from Michigan who appeared in my office one day, asking me to rid him of his ‘ Florida accent'. Larry was sure that it was hurting his job search. No, he didn't come from Florida nor had he ever been there. But his mother once visited! Try as I might, I could not hear anything distinctive, much less objectionable, about his speech. So I asked him about this alleged accent. Well, he said, there was this fellow named George from Utah who told him he, Larry, had a ‘ Florida accent'. George knew, he said, because he once met another fellow who talked funny and that fellow was from Florida . Therefore….

Well, you get the point. Not all opinions are equal. Choose your sources wisely. But if there seems to be consensus of opinion, pay attention. These people may be telling exactly what you need to focus on and this is a great boast for your improvement.

If you are in a position to consult a speech specialist, I would highly recommend that. They are knowledgeable, dispassionate and in a position to give you concrete guidance. Check the yellow pages or consult Vasta or the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association for such a person in your area.

Contact us today to discuss how our workshops, coaching and training products can improve your Personal Professionalism and Communication Impact.

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