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"Is Communication Coaching for You?
Part II - What Does the Coach Do?
By Dr. Carol Fleming

In Part I of this series -"Is Communication Coaching for You?" - I spoke of
the many and varied reasons a person might show up for help with their
communication skills.

I noted that it is the rare individual that can make an accurate self-evaluation and that most of us need that outside, objective, disinterested figure for feedback and evaluation. I play the role of that figure, so let me tell you exactly how I would go about it. You might want to think through your response to these questions as you read this. These questions occur in the context of an interview that is tape-recorded.

Why are you here?

There is a reason that impelled you to take action now. You want to stretch yourself for a new challenge, or, conversely, you have become distressed because of some sorely felt failure or criticism, the stinging side-comment, the poorly received presentation, or the sound of your own voice on a tape recorder. I need to know your motivation since I will depend upon it for your progress. Without strong personal motivation, I guarantee you will not change.

What do you think of your own speech/voice/language/personality?

I find out what you think or suspect about your speaking skills.

1. Speech means how you make the sounds of the language (presence of a foreign accent, fluency, slurring, etc.)

2. Voice refers to issue of pitch, melody, quality and gender identification. People sometimes think that their voices are nasal and that their pitch is too high, for example.

3. Language includes vocabulary, grammar, and paragraph organization. ("People tell me I don't get to the point!")

4. Personality usually suggests degrees of introversion or extroversion but it really functions as a door for us to talk about various related issues that might have a bearing on your speaking style.

How would you like people to describe your speech/voice/language?

We're setting goals when we get to this section and I listen carefully to the first thing out of your mouth. This is likely to be very important to you and will set the course for our work together. As you can imagine, I really will not know what path I should design for you until you tell me where you want to go.

Sometimes there are interesting goal conflicts. Consider the lady who told me that she sought me out because she wanted more respect, more authority. People weren't paying attention to what she said, but when I asked her how she wanted to be described, she said, "Pleasant, friendly, nice." Hmmmmm.

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How would you describe your speech/voice/language after hearing our interview on my tape recording?

This is the most important step - the objective listening- of the evaluation: how well can you hear and evaluate your self when you have the
chance to hear yourself talking in a friendly setting, to a genuinely interested person, on a good tape-recorder? I pretend that I don't know that you'd rather die than listen. I play a few statements on the tape and ask for your first impression. I will also say, "It's OK to tell me that you're a lot better than you'd thought you'd be."

As I have you listen and comment on your own voice, I am noticing what you
are able to hear and identify and what I will need to guide you to. Some people are able to notice and describe the characteristics of their speaking quite accurately. If this is something you would like to develop, I authored the The Sound of Your Voice audio-tape series to help people make more accurate assessments of their speech/voice and language.

Now we have another kind of information - what you can actually hear on the audio-tape - that we line up with what you assumed when you walked in and what you would want in the future. All three descriptions are made by you and all three can be quite different.

Now, I give my own feedback. ('About time!', you say.) And I will comment on your speech/voice/language, nonverbal impact, communication style. The first thing I do is to point out all the areas that you manage quite well and should not think about changing. This always comes as a surprise. My clients show up with much self-criticism and expect me to be equally critical. I am not. I will point out areas where they could improve if they want to. I will do so in the style of a speech pathologist, that is to say, neutral and descriptive, not pejorative.

While you may note that you speak with a 'singsong', I will show you the
pattern that is catching your ear and how to change it to a different form.
You may get the impression that you sound 'childlike' in your tonality. I will show you where you use a "head" resonance that contributes to that impression.
You may notice that you don't sound very friendly. I will show you on the audio-tape the cutting remarks you made about your co-workers, you criticisms about the difficulty in getting to my office, and the number of times you interrupted me during the interview.
People may have told you that your voice sounds gruff and raspy. I will show you the 'glottal fry' in your voice production and teach you how to produce a clear tone.

My remarks to you are heavily influenced by your purpose for seeing me. If
you are interviewing for medical school, responding to a criticism about your communication skills on your employment review, or preparing for an important speech, my comments will be aligned with your goals. At this point, I will design a treatment program to take you in the direction you have selected. You are now in a position to decide if you want to take this journey with me as your guide, coach and cheerleader.

In the next article, I will tell you what your side of this journey looks like.

Part III. What Do I Have to Do??

Contact us today to discuss how our workshops, coaching and training products can improve your Personal Professionalism and Communication Impact.

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